Lanzarote

In the sector of the holiday market that caters for sun, sangria and house music, not to mention sex, Lanzarote rivals Corfu and Ibiza.

Tourism in Lanzarote remains resolutely ungreen and certainly wholly uncultural, 21st century hedonism, set in a bizarre lunar landscape - Martian, according to the travel agent.

On Lanzarote, one can meet some fascinating human specimens - notably Pam and Barbara, 'non-exclusive' German lesbians - who can give rise to some interesting combinations.

Will they succeed in seducing Rudi, the police inspector from Luxembourg, currently living in exile in Brussels. Or will he join the 'azraelian' sect, as they prepare for humanity to be regenerated by extra-terrestrials?

As for our narrator, will he consider his week's holiday on the island a success?