Quite by accident, September has been crowned as Queen of Fairyland - but she inherits a Kingdom in chaos. The magic of a Dodo's egg has brought every King, Queen, or Marquess of Fairyland back to life, each with a fair and good claim on the throne, each with their own schemes and plots and horrible, hilarious, hungry histories.

In order to make sense of it all, and to save their friend from a job she doesn't want, A-Through-L and Saturday devise a Royal Race, a Monarckical Marathon, in which every outlandish would-be ruler of Fairyland will chase the Stoat of Arms across the whole of the nation - and the first to seize the poor beast will seize the crown. Caught up in the madness are the changelings Hawthorn and Tamburlaine, the combat wombat Blunderbuss, the gramophone Scratch, the Green Wind, and September's parents, who have crossed the universe to find their daughter...