A Series of Unfortunate Events: The Pessimistic Posters

Dear Wall Enthusiast,

If you are looking for some sort of decoration for the walls of your home or cell, you have picked up the wrong item entirely. Not only is this poster book far too heavy to be nailed to a wall, the images it contains are extremely depressing.

This book contains nothing but unnecessarily large photographs of distressing moments in the miserable lives of the three Baudelaire siblings. Even if you flip through the book as quickly as possible, you are likely to see images of a burnt-down house, a deadly snake, a bad play, and a notorious villain in a variety of badly tailored disguises. Your blank walls would be better off covered with a tapestry, a word which here means "an ugly piece of cloth too thin to use as a blanket and too large to use as a napkin."

I will spend the rest of my life staring at images like these in the cavernous room of my mind. You, however, are free to find more cheerful posters, perhaps displaying a fuzzy cat, a basket full of puppies, or a handful of flowers arranged in some sort of vase.

With all due respect,

Lemony Snicket