The Hippopotamus (Unabridged ed)

'You can't expect an arse like me to tell a story competently.

It's all I can bloody do to work this foul machine. I've counted up the words processed, a thing I do every hour and, if technology can be trusted, it looks as if you're in for 93, 682 of them.

Good luck to you. You asked for it, you paid me for it, you've got to sit through it. ' So starts THE HIPPOPOTAMUS. A novel as surprising and entertaining as you would expect.