The Devil's Dictionary : Original Text

ABILITY, n. The natural equipment to accomplish some small part of the meanerambitions distinguishing able men from dead ones.

In the last analysis ability iscommonly found to consist mainly in a high degree of solemnity.

Perhaps, however,this impressive quality is rightly appraised; it is no easy task to be solemn.ABNORMAL, adj.

Not conforming to standard. In matters of thought and conduct,to be independent is to be abnormal, to be abnormal is to be detested.

Whereforethe lexicographer adviseth a striving toward the straiter [sic] resemblance of theAverage Man than he hath to himself.

Whoso attaineth thereto shall have peace, theprospect of death and the hope of Hell.