The matewix

An unauthorised, utterly silly spoof of the Matrix, "The Matewix" is an adventure starring the ineffectual computer geek Newo.

This book has all the action of the film, or more specifically it's a story of a nerd who couldn't get any action.

Our hero has a rather bad speech impediment, which gets him into all sorts of twuble in a world that's not quite what it seems. "'If you take the Red pill, Newo, there is no going back.

You will leave the Matewix and enter a world more real to you than you can possibly imagine.

But Newo, if you take the Blue pill you will sustain an erection for up to 12 years.

You must decide Newo'. Newo stared long and hard at the pills. Then reached out his hand, 'I'll take them both', he said and eagerly gobbled them down whole".