There is nothing to be found in the pages of these books but misery and despair.

You still have time to choose something else to read.

But if you must know what unpleasantries befall the charming and clever Baudelaire children read on ...The Penultimate Peril Sadly this next-to-last chronicle of the lives of the Baudelaire orphans, and it is next-to-first in its supply of unpleasantness.

Probably the next-to-last things you would like to read about are a harpoon gun, a rooftop sunbathing salon, two mysterious initials, three unidentified triplets, a notorious villain and an unsavoury curry.

Next-to-last things are the first thing to be avoided!