Mr. Bean's definitive and extremely marvellous guide to France

Dear Lord Bloomsbury, I hope you are well and that the cold isn't getting into your silly old bones.

I shall be holidaying in France shortly and plan to write a book about it.

You see, it struck me (in the bath) that people love travelling and reading books.

So why not have a book about travelling? I think your Lordship (silly man) has been missing a hole in the market.

So come on old boy. Let's clean up! Yours Sincerely, Mr. Bean. (Travel Writer. A.A. R.A.C. T.S.B.) Though he says so himself, Mr. Bean's done a jolly good job of making this book, stuffed as it is with sellotaped, gummed and bluetacked photos, magazine clippings, sketches and travel memorabilia collected whilst on holiday in France.

Not only has he constructed this visual feast all by himself, he's gone to extraordinary lengths to include invaluable advice and guidance to would-be visitors to that land.

The language, for example, is a doddle, he tells us, the only French words you need to get by with are 'oui', 'non' and 'gracias'.

Mr Bean knows. He's been.