Precious scars : a mother's journey

"In the beginning, I lived day to day, sometimes even hour to hour.

I was pleased at the end of the day, to have survived, more or less.

Now I know, I am strong. Life continues, for which I am glad."For Julia Engelhorn life divides into the Before and After. There was a time Before, when her life was filled with the joys and struggles of parenthood, when she was run off her feet trying to take care of a seven year old and three year old twins Octavia and Maximo. And then there was a time After, when her world was encased in darkness, when there was only one child left and she had become a member of a club that no one wants to join. On 6 April 2016 Julia went to pick up her three children from the rental home of her ex- husband Mario Deus where he had been taking care of them over the Easter holidays.

Although it had been a difficult couple of years, Julia hoped that now the divorce was finalised they could get their relationship on a better and more stable footing for the sake of the children.

Nothing could have prepared her for what happened that day. On arrival to the house, Mario told her to pick up a knife because he intended to kill her.

When she asked what was happening he said that the twins were dead.

Julia's world shattered in that moment, she ran to the bedroom where she thought her children were asleep, only to find their lifeless bodies. This is the story of her Before and After - a story of healing after unimaginable loss.

Precious Scars is Julia's inspiring story of how she put herself back together again after being broken apart by unthinkable loss.

It is about finding a way through impenetrable grief and learning to love, laugh and sing again. "The scars I carry with me, inside me, are a reminder of what I have survived.

From the broken pieces of my old self, something new was created, just as beautiful, but different."